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Last week we were told that "sex czars" are to be appointed in an attempt to improve Scotland's "sexual health record". I wonder how you responded to the news. Did you say "that's precisely what we need" or "what a brilliant idea" or "I can't think why we have taken so long to get round to doing this'?

Well, did you? I doubt it. I would guess that the more likely response was a groan or a sigh, an expression of scepticism or an outburst of unprintable contempt. The proposal encapsulates two characteristics of our political life : bossiness, and ineptitude. Our politicians love telling us what to do... Susan Deacon, who used to be Minister for Health and Community Care, has even been advocating the use of the law to help -- force? -- us to change our eating habits.

"If change," she wrote in one magazine, "can be delivered on a voluntary basis that is fine, but if this is not the case, the Executive may need to consider whether to use the force of the law." Eat up your greens or we'll force them down your throat.

Actually, we already have a food czar, one Gillian Kynoch, instructed to make us change our eating habits. "Presumably Miss Kynoch is also required to liaise with the "fat czar", Mary Allison, whose remit is to get us jogging and working out in the gym.

What you eat and how you exercise were, till recently, matters which were thought to be no concern of politicians.

This clearly is no longer the case. The state, in the shape of our tinpot politicians on The Mound -- not all of whom are role models as far as health and fitness goes -- has assumed the right to take over your private life.

How long before health and fitness czars are carrying out spot cheeks at supermarkets and instructing you to exchange the "unhealthy" foods in your trolley for "healthy" ones. Why not, if the attempt to persuade us voluntarily to reform our eating habits is not working?

As for exercise, readers of Orwell's 1984 will remember that the unfortunate subjects of Big Brother were required to do physical jerks every morning -- this being monitored by CCTV. There's a thought for our fat czar : CCTV in the living room and the kitchen to make sure we are eating and exercising properly.

By some counts our "sex czar" will be the 14th czar inflicted on us -- and rewarded with a hefty salary -- since devolution was instituted and every aspect of life accordingly politicised.

The sex czar and his or her czarlets will be expected to reduce the number of teenage pregnancies and stem the rise in the number of cases. of venereal disease. But how? Well, by giving more information about contraceptives, and then, well... more and better sex education.

It all sounds futile. There is no shortage of information about contraceptives, just as there is no difficulty in obtaining them. As for sex education, the-so-called crisis that has led to the appointment of a sex czar has developed in parallel with the ubiquity of sex education in our schools. You don't have to be a cynic to conclude that more sex education means more sexual activity.

As for reducing the number of teenage pregnancies, the evidence is quite clear. Pregnant girls who don't want a baby choose to have an abortion; 20 per cent of pregnancies end that way. Those who don't choose abortion mostly want to have a baby. Is the appointment of a sex czar going to change that? Will the sun shine by night?

There's another piece of evidence worth pondering. On the whole, girls who want to go on to higher education don't have babies when they are teenagers. It's the girls who want to get out of school as fast as they can who get pregnant and keep their baby while still of school age. A sex czar won't change that. Better teaching -- but not teaching about sex -- might have a chance of doing so.

Appointing a czar has become the response to any social problem. It gives an impression of activity, but, really, it's an expression of frustration. Politicians don't know how to deal with these problems but think they should be seen to be doing something. Yet most of these problems are ones which they are incompetent to address and some are no business of theirs.

Individuals may often manage their lives badly. No one disputes that. What is in dispute is whether their failure to manage their lives well is any concern of politicians.

There's a curious paradox. Our society is in some respects less judgmental than it used to be. Politicians shrink from laying down the moral law. They would be horrified, for instance, by the suggestion that adultery or fornication be made a crime, or that unmarried mothers be brought before the courts.

But they are ever more eager to interfere in other areas of private life, bullying and bossing us for what they think is our own, and society's good This is deeply satisfying for them. Fortunately for us, their activity is usually utterly ineffective. A recent poll suggested that 91 per cent of Scottish children think junk food is bad for them. But they won't be bullied -- they eat it just the same.
Good for them, I say, even if the stuff they eat won't do them any good.